I’ve long taught screenwriting courses – first in a
classroom and now online – through UCLA Extension’s Writers’ Program Recently, I’ve specialized in teaching
students how to rewrite their existing screenplays. It’s a tough job, but
someone’s got to do it. As working screenwriters know all too well, talent and
a good idea are not enough. It takes perspiration as well as inspiration to
turn good scripts into great ones.
A case in point is a small coming-of-age film that’s arriving
in theatres now. The Way, Way Back attracted
attention in 2007, when it appeared on a so-called “Black List” of Hollywood’s
best unproduced screenplays. The central premise was appealing, if somewhat
familiar: fourteen-year-old Duncan, stuck in a beach-house with his mother and
her obnoxious new squeeze, finds an unexpected sense of self-worth when he
makes friends with the manager of a seedy water park. In 2007, co-authors Nat
Faxon and Jim Rash were best known as TV actors, specializing in sketch humor
and sitcom wackiness. Then they shared an Oscar for adapting The Descendants to the screen, and their
stock rose to the point that they were able to launch a modest but star-studded
production of The Way, Way Back, with
themselves as co-directors. (They also gave themselves fat – and very funny –
cameos as weird water park employees.)
Now Faxon and Rash’s little
movie, having sparked a bidding war at Sundance, is being slowly rolled out for
general audiences. In hyping The Way, Way
Back as “a new comedy from the studio that brought you Little Miss Sunshine and Juno,”
Fox Searchlight is clearly appealing to those among us who love modestly-budgeted
indies with sunny outcomes. The ads also play up the presence of such reliable
names as Steve Carrell, Toni Collette, Allison Janney, Sam Rockwell, and Maya
Rudoph among the cast of characters.
Many critics have been charmed. In
the L.A. Times, reviewer Betsy Sharkey began by heaping praise on the
Faxon-Rash script, whose “dialogue remains too pure, too quirky, too
conversational to have been tampered with by studio execs or nervous backers—so
a shout-out to all the folks who kept their notes to themselves.” Her
implication is that the original screenplay was so perfect that development
execs simply needed to stay out of the way. But I know better. I recently served
as guest moderator at a Hollywood gathering called Storyboard, at which
aspiring screenwriters assess scripts before they make it to the big screen. When
we discussed a draft of The Way, Way Back,
its merits were easy to see. But so were its flaws. Character relationships
didn’t always make sense. Young Duncan’s crucial connection with his
step-father (the Carrell role) was puzzling because we didn’t know how long
they had been part of a blended family, nor what had happened to Duncan’s
biological dad. There were also issues involving the script’s tone. Did it mean
to be raunchy, or sweet? How was the audience to feel about a climactic scene
in which our hero gets drunk and a very young neighbor is comically revealed as
a pot-head?
I’m happy to report that
somewhere along the line, Faxon and Rash obviously did some rewriting. Carrell
was turned from Mom’s second husband into a boyfriend with marriage on his
mind, which in context makes perfect sense out of the script’s summer beach
vacation. We know what happened to Duncan’s father, and hence understand this
kid’s sense of loss. The sex, booze, and dope elements of the story are toned
down, and we’re left with a satisfying little story, just right for a midsummer
night at the movies.
Rewriting is very difficult to me - because I kind of go through at least two drafts in the first draft - I very seldom just blow through thinking I'll fix it in rewriting. I usually need a trusted friend to give me some pointers, or a goodly amount of time after the first draft is completed to go back to it.
ReplyDeleteA thought just hit me - a favor, really...in your "copious spare time" that you recently mentioned - would there ever be a time you might cast your New World script editor eye over a feature screenplay I've written? Give me an idea if it's any good at all? (I totally understand if it's a no - whether because you are so busy or if I've been rude - like asking a doctor for a free diagnosis at a party)....
Copious spare time? Yeah, right! But when time permits I do offer professional consultations (both in writing and on the telephone) with aspiring screenwriters. My rates vary, depending on whether I'm asked to provide general notes, highly detailed script notes, or simply a one-hour phone critique. Anyone who's interested (that means YOU, Mr. Craig) should write to me personally at beverly@beverlygray.com
ReplyDeleteI promise a good deal to friends of Beverly in Movieland.