Monday, January 30, 2012

Going Viral: Sh*t Beverly Says in Movieland


Producer-director Mike Elliott -- he of the Carnosaur death scene that proved so deathless that it got re-used (without his knowledge) in Roger Corman’s Raptor – is kindly trying to help me drive more traffic to “Beverly in Movieland. “The other day, after I’d griped that fans of Blue Crush 2 are no longer clamoring to read my post about Mike’s wet-dream of a surfing film, he blackberried me some cryptic advice: “Put this link on your site and get a shitload of hits as it goes viral.” Of course he included the link, which I opened with trepidation. The last time Mike sent me something, it was about the bad-ass exploits of a honey badger. Educational, yes, in the way of tooth-and-claw nature documentaries . . . but not destined to be favorite viewing in my house.

Anyway, “Shit People Say in L.A.” turns out to be an ingratiating, if somewhat predictable, discourse by two wannabe actresses on all the usual L.A. topics: traffic, permit parking, improv classes, beach weather in January, sightings around town of actors with minor roles on major series. The fact that we’ve heard it all before doesn’t distract (well, not entirely) from the deadpan delivery and the accuracy of the details: Intelligentsia coffee, In-N-Out Burgers served “animal-style,” Coachella, commuter shortcuts through Cahuenga Pass.

What intrigues me is the way YouTube has taken hold as a way for all of us to become movie stars. I’m told that from the earliest days of Hollywood moviemaking, everyone wanted to get into the act. Just after World War I, Carl Laemmle turned fans’ curiosity to his advantage by letting them tour his Universal City backlot for 25 cents a head. Afterward, they got to sit on bleachers and watch movies being made. But it wasn’t long before merely watching wasn’t enough. Average folks were just dying to be on camera.

The advent of television gave a lot of us a chance to be seen over the airwaves, if only briefly. You could try to become a guest on a quiz show, tell your sob-story on Queen for a Day, or at least applaud wildly as part of a studio audience. For kids, there was the possibility of joining Howdy Doody’s peanut gallery, or even being chosen for the Mickey Mouse Club’s weekly Talent Round-Up. Back then, of course, we also had respect for stars. You might be picked for the Talent Round-Up, but that didn’t mean you were the next Annette.

In today’s reality-TV world, though, the stars have largely been replaced by just plain folks (the plainer the better). Because it’s widely understood that bad behavior is a valued commodity, everyone’s busy acting up for the cameras. (Remember that Colorado couple who created an uproar when they claimed their six-year-old son had floated off in a helium balloon? It was a hoax, designed to get the family its own reality show. All that free publicity for “balloon boy” was in vain, though: no production companies came calling, and sponsors weren’t buying.)

Then there’s YouTube, which offers the opportunity to be not only star but producer, director, and distributor. If you have a cat who plays the piano, a cute kid who sings off-key, or a bride who falls into the swimming pool on her wedding day, you too can go viral. If the shit YOU say is entertaining enough, you stand a good chance of being the next big thing. All right, world -- I’m ready for my closeup.

11 comments:

  1. Well, I'm going to break my chronology here to jump in on this one. I'm both elated and sorry to be the one to let Mr. Elliott know he got repurposed in Raptor - but having checked out that trailer - he wasn't the only one - I'd say 98% of that trailer was the stuff from other movies! Ha! I'd be happy to offer my blog's small readership to spread the word about this blog - would you be amenable to an interview sometime? I can't promise the questions won't get goofy - but who knows where it might lead?

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    1. Goofy questions are my specialty, Craig. Ask away! (But wait a week or two until this brand-new grandma gets her bearings.)

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  2. Thank you so much! I will email them next week or the week after - take your time - my blog's editor is a teddy bear when it comes to deadlines! ;)

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  3. Beverly, you don't want to be the next big thing, then you will have that ever penetrating focus on your life, all those in the me, me, me gang. Those people make me sick. I was told the other day by a customer of mine who runs a gas station in small town, Indiana of why he doesn't play the lottery. He told me because your friends and family will then become your enemies as well as their own enemies. An accurate statement about don't wish for what you may not be able to handle. Fame and fortune are great, but they come at a price on your privacy, emotions and personal control of your own life. THE NEXT BIG THING: It is an extremely interesting conversation though. It is what my present novel is about. If I read one more headline about KIM KADARSHIAN on the magazine stand at my local grogery I may throw up all over myself. Enough is enough already Kim, just go away, your life just isn't that interesting. You bring nothing of value to the table except a cute smile, large breasts and a fat ass. Things most guys dream and fantasy of....Coincidence that is why she is so popular, I think not

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  4. Thanks for the warning, Paul. I certainly don't dream of being the next Kim Kardashian. Hey, wait a minute -- I have a cute smile, and I don't do so badly in the other departments . . . maybe I can be the Kardashians' adopted sister!

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  5. Lol!! Beverly Gray is a Kardashian, lord help me!!! What have I created?? I have updated my blog site and posted it on my facebook. If I get readers, I will encourage your site.

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  6. I just had an idea for your reality show, Beverly. But the reality of it is you aren't necessarily the star, but the Master (insert plug for GALAXY OF TERROR here). It would be called CORMAN'S CREW, or something along those lines. It would see many of his former company, whether famous or not, given tasks to complete built around the films they did for him. This could be a nice mix of behind the scenes technicians and film stars. Meanwhile, you'd be the Master of the whole thing overseeing it all. Whaddaya think?

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    1. Oh wow, being a Master of the Corman Universe -- it doesn't get much better than that!

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. Sorry, Slavestar. I'm a bit technologically challenged, and didn't mean to delete your comment (which read something like "You people crack me up.") Please try again -- I'd love it if you decide to join the conversation!

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